Re the thing about dreams/goals, through most of secondary school and upto mid A levels, by career dream was to be vet, but I eventually realised that 1. I probably wasn’t goign to get the necessary grades, and 2. I probably didn’t have the dedication to see it through. Somehow it never got replaced with anything else. Thought I did always want to be able to spend time at home with my children though, that’s worked out.

Maybe it’s case of if I don’t admit to ahving them I can’t be disapointed when I don’t achieve them……..

Lovely answers Chris! Number one is the reason we’re sticking with just the two children- we took Pip backpacking in Australia and New Zealand for 10 months when she was 3 1/2 and we have plans for more family travel when we feel Titch is at the right age and when Sim has finished the training!

That’s pretty much what I want for my girls and I agree about the exams.

Sim and I both lacked plans and ambitions anad we both chuckle together sometimes and wonder if we’d have done better in *some* ways falling in love with someone with both

I think you have influenced me, I prob would have stayed in London and been that focussed superdoc! And I may not have done the degree in evolutionary psychobiology [though that was fun, so might have done!] I also may not have had the courage to live my life the way I want it – and made more traditional choices on education etc. So enriched both ways I think.

I wonder sometimes whether people see us as an odd pairing – you so brighton hippy, and me stuffy consultant surgeon! Underneath the stereotypes though, we are very similar.

OTOH, I just fail to understand how you never had dreams and a goal!!! I don’t think that will be a prb with SB, as she seems fairly dynamic on dreams and goals!!

Thanks love