Comments on: Meal Swapping

By: Helen

Helen — Sun, 13 Nov 2005 23:46:23 +0000

rofl. i think its more that we have not had signihicantly different views about somrthing important, yet!! we do have niggles and grumps.
we do tell sb off, count for her to do x etc, but usuaslly not shout. it is the shouting that i mind, as its a sign of me wrongly releasing frustrations.
coat notnormally a prob.
thanks for suuport and advice though. its easy to feel a crap parent when you are doing less parenting than you want, and easy to feel unworthy and substandard

By: Chris

Chris — Sun, 13 Nov 2005 23:38:42 +0000

I dunno that’s it’s that we think it’s problem, more of a case that we just don’t do it (I don’t think telling off = shouting) so if we do get short with her it’s probably symptomatic of something else

ditto me and Helen have never AFAICR had row about anything (as in shouting at each other type thing, as opposed to disagreements about something). though mayeb that’s just becuase i do as i’m told…..?

By: Alison

Alison — Sun, 13 Nov 2005 21:34:30 +0000

Coat thing when I have a buggy to take out (or are going in the car) is easy – I just say “Well, shall I take it for if you’re cold later?” and they are usually not arses and say “yes please” – I really don’t go for the ‘don’t take it to teach them a lesson when they’re cold’ approach! Not so easy without a buggy as I am less keen on being a packmule, but I haven’t had to deal with it yet this autumn.

You’ll just have to make the effort and get to bed early(ish ) Helen! If I did a day’s work there’s no way I’d then do what you do of an evening, I’d be an evil wreck.

By: Roslyn

Roslyn — Sun, 13 Nov 2005 20:20:18 +0000

I really don’t see a problem wiht raising your voice to your child. She is your child you are her parent the adult. She needs to know that you are in charge, as yet she is not your equal and if she pisses you off then she needs to know about it. I have concerns about children who have never been told off/shouted at. irl it doesn’t always work that you get to sit and discuss, sometimes it’s just do and do it now.

You are a good parent, you do your best. That is enough, both your children are loved and devoted on. It seems like every spare second you have is given to them. I could say don’t worry yourself and stop stressing but in reality most parents spend their entire lives feeling like they are doing enough. I am 31 and have just had a phone call with my mother saying she isn’t doing enough to help me atm, isn’t giving me enough time. FFS! We are equal adults we live hundreds of miles apart. Nothing changes. She still apologises for raising her voice at me :-).

By: Joanna

Joanna — Sun, 13 Nov 2005 10:08:25 +0000

Helen, if I blogged everytime I shouted at Tamsin I would do nothing else all day long but blog (but then maybe that would stop me shouting …?). not that I’m proud of it, and indeed I’m working hard to stop it, but if you only shouted once that day you are doing a whole host better than I am. And I still can’t believe how much you both do with SB – that puts me in the shade too…..

By: Karen b

Karen b — Sun, 13 Nov 2005 08:56:03 +0000

I question my parenting style every minute – and I need to too – and I don’t work at all! Helen you do a wonderful job and every time I read your blog I wonder how you and Chris manage it. xxx

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sat, 12 Nov 2005 23:42:42 +0000

Loved the beetroot risotto, btw, so thank you hugely for that one!

By: Helen

Helen — Sat, 12 Nov 2005 23:32:28 +0000

yeah, i know. having a wobble. mpstly due to her ease in crying/gettig upset/stropping a the moment making me query whole parenting style

By: Dani

Dani — Sat, 12 Nov 2005 23:31:06 +0000

KWYM about the horrible tiredness /shouting cycle, though you’ve got more excuse – we seem able to do it even with our part time non-pressurised jobs and no baby. Still haven’t figured out what to do about the coat thing either!

Now our 5 year old is our second one, not our first, we feel that 5 is very little, and look back with bemusement on the time when we thought 5 was very big. Relax – I’m sure you know that SB is learning all the time, through everything you do together.

By: Heather

Heather — Sat, 12 Nov 2005 22:35:15 +0000

Helen, don’t worry about having shouted at her, she’ll have forgotten it long before you have and she is so obviously such a very loved little girl. I’m guilty of being a bit shouty sometimes and sometimes I find I’ve been in a shouty frame for days before I manage to reign it in, so don’t feel bad about it, I don’t; we’re only human.

And I’m gobsmacked that you could even entertain the notion that SB’s HE is in any way deficient. You *must* be tired! (btw, formal maths doesn’t really exist in R, but you know that )