Comments on: yesterday we went to little nanny’s

By: Helen

Helen — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 11:05:45 +0000

yeah, that is the difficulty, except that a LOT of little nanny’s support system has gone – she has one helpful neighbour. the friends and family that visited have died, and her v local B-I-L rarely visits now. her brother is pretty immobile – so they mostly keep up by phone.
but yes, i can imagine living in the house v stressful too. we would prob drive little nanny mad with messiness and noise. BUT i would be less stressed than if she were mine or chris’s parents as i somehow am less ‘bothered’ to be. [does that make sense? i think the generational gap helps]. i couldn’t live with chris’s parents, and would struggle with mine in a shared house environ – though house round the corner would be ideal!

By: Alison

Alison — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 09:11:34 +0000

((((Helen))))) It’s hard.

Selfishly, I’d love C’s grandpa to live nearer, as we could then see him more often, and pop in rather than it being a whole day out every time, which is tiring for him too. But he has an excellent support system where he is, and lovely neighbours – seems wrong to expect him to leave that.

My 2 grandfathers died in my parents’ house – I’m not at all sure I’d have the goodwill to take in my own parents if they ever needed it, and I certainly wouldn’t have C’s, lol! My nan (dad’s mum) lived with them for a couple of years, but was in a home at the end, and that was no fun, she was a miserable old bat. I barely saw her before she died as she was so horrible about me being pregnant with Buttercup that I couldn’t bear to visit her, and she was at the home by then so I didn’t have to see her at my mum’s.

I hate having to worry about this stuff. Have some more (((((hugs)))))

By: Linda

Linda — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 06:57:42 +0000

I cannot really add anything that Sarah and Michelle have not already said. Both my grandparents passed away over 20 years ago so I haven’t really had to think about this sort of thing.

Maybe call her more often, or send pictures from the kids by post, a letter now and then between visits? You probably do all these things already…

Hugs from me too. xx

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 05:38:14 +0000

Tricky in all respects – not sure what I think – the two grandparents of Steve’s and mine who have moved to be near family members seem to be more lonely than they were before, and leaving their ‘roots’ didn’t seem to me to help them all that much, even if they were nearer family.

I’m sure little nanny appreciates the effort you make for her even if it isn’t as often as you would like. Guess you can’t win, there would be pros and cons both ways round. (((Helen)))

By: Michelle

Michelle — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 23:17:11 +0000

I’m far worse. I don’t like to visit Grandad as I get too upset ‘cos Nan isn’t there. He won’t visit us as he is comfortable at home. It is too far for a day trip so we have to stay at Mums. Gen went by when she stayed at mums for a week and he made her a cup of tea, then went into his study where he plays patience on the pc over and over again (always has done – for years even with Nan alive). Gen wandered around the sitting room and garden then went back into the study to ask if he wanted another cup of tea. He didn’t. She sat on her own some more then said she supposed she ought to get going.

So mega guilt and it isn’t exactly fun when I am there. For him as well as Clo and me. I will go down and see him in a couple of weeks and it will be the first time since February.

And no. You can’t kidnap grandparents. That would introduce a whole new set of problems for all of you!

Love for an emotional day xx