Comments on: letting dreams go…

By: Elizabeth H.

Elizabeth H. — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 22:17:09 +0000

Much sympathy — as expressed more eloquently by others — and huge respect for the *great* facilitator that you clearly are…

SB may come back to it — or use it as a springboard to something else — and as Gina said, she’s still only little!

By: Merry

Merry — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 02:01:42 +0000

I can think of lots of things but you know what, here is the one i think is best and it doesn’t focus on SB at all. BB is your most musical child, the one most likely to enjoy being in orchestras with you. Look forward to this maybe being something that will be the special BB/MB thing and let you and SB find something else instead. It is so easy to think that you and your eldest have to be the ones to do these things and to focus on some of their personality being like you and think that means all of them must be. I suspect BB will relish taking up the spot.

I’m discovering Fran isn’t really like me at all; it’s odd, but it’s freeing – and it helps a bit with her rejection of me for school. I know it must feel like SB has rejected you but if i can accept that Fran trying school means i have succeeded with her, then i think i can also see that this is a triumph of SB just being herself and growing up with a positive view of herself being in charge of herself.

I’d like to say that far more sympathetically but i am too tired. Take the sympathy as read

By: HHaricot

HHaricot — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 23:26:01 +0000

thanks ros. we did a last violin practice today, and i swear she still enjoyed it. such is life though, and there is no point saying i am child led and carrying on.

By: Roslyn

Roslyn — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 18:41:00 +0000

Bless you, I so know how you are feeling. You are a much better person than me as I can’t bare the children to give up anything they have invested so much time into. Though I must admit she made her point so well even I would have listened!

By: HHaricot

HHaricot — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 00:13:42 +0000

thanks gina. and welcome to the blog!

By: Gina

Gina — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 23:56:30 +0000

If it’s any consolation, J’s giving up the violin, too. My only real regret, though, is the hours we spent coercing him to practise – now he’s big enough to play the French horn he barely even needs reminding. SB’s still very young to play anything – Dave started the violin at 7 (and still led the Midland Youth Orchestra later), I was 15 when I took up the flute, after years of dreaming about it. All you could do is start her on her musical journey and it seems to me that you’ve done that. Keep opening the doors for her and she’ll choose the ones to run through!!

By: Em

Em — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 22:08:21 +0000

I can play an oboe. Or at least, I could very badly once a very long time ago! Bring it and I’ll show you. It feels horrible though. You have to kinda turn both lips in. I always fancied a Cor Anglais, much nicer sound than an oboe, but just could never do that double reed thing for long.

By: HHaricot

HHaricot — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 21:47:42 +0000

and most importantly thanks everyone for commenting. i know i come across as a cross between anally retentive school marm and borderline psychotic at times

By: HHaricot

HHaricot — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 21:46:55 +0000

also giggled here about hiding place. I have to point out that we aren’t doing music exams, we have spent oodles of time ‘investigating’ sounds [and the violin is really good for dreadful ones at that!] and being fun, and are rather slack with practice – that said, the violin does get to a better point more quickly with some concentrated effort at the start!
anyway, yes to music at helmsley! the girls can bring recorders to mess about with in the background! and, did you ever play the oboe, as my mum has given me hers? and i’m not sure how to do the lip thingy!! [can't spell embouchure or whatever!]

By: Nic

Nic — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 21:16:28 +0000

I read this soon after you posted it but didn’t comment as I had nothing greatly valuable to say.
Neither of my children share any great passions of mine – yet – and actually I don’t share any with my parents either. I think giving SB the gift of listening to her is the most valuable gift you can give anyone, ever.
She knows the violin is there, she knows it is something she can do and do well, maybe she just also needs to know she doesn’t *have* to do it. I reckon she will very likely come back to it.

Not a useless facilitator at all Helen, but I hope you know that really. xxx