Comments on: summarising what happened without me!

By: Alison

Alison — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 00:01:00 +0000

4 is a terrible age

It’s also pretty young for group activities, I think. I know a couple of kids from Brigades who started as soon as they could (4 1/2 for girls, 5 for boys), and struggled for a few weeks before giving it up for a while. They both came back a term or two later, full of renewed enthusiasm and have thoroughly enjoyed themselves since.

By: HHaricot

HHaricot — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 23:42:01 +0000

thanks katy, would love to borrow something on high needs children, and will try and breathe through it! tiredness and hypoglycaemia certainly increase the likelihood of major tantrum, but she is rather an expert whenever things don’t happen exactly as she expected them to in her head. holding close does def help.

By: Katy

Katy — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 19:09:00 +0000

All of mine have been most mercurial when low blood sugar (as in fact am I!) and J used to have awful tantrums at almost exactly BB’s age, having been Mr Laidback up until then, so it took us completely by surprise, which I eventually realised were caused by low blood sugar and tiredness – getting him to eat something (at times quite literally shoving food into his mouth) would work within minutes and help him to gain control. In extremis we also used holding (in arms and also legs if need be for J, in carrier or arms for L; K didn’t tantrum) until calm and able to talk. Doesn’t sound very AP but I think sometimes they were just looking for boundaries and the physical boundaries helped them to get their own mental ones sorted out too.

Having said all that, I do think that BB is immensely calmer overall now than she was 6 months ago and I suspect that if you keep doing what you’re doing and ride it out the sweet and reasonable BB we can see much of the time now will be the one we see most of the time and eventually almost all of the time

I do have several books if you want to borrow anything, including a Sears book on fussy babies and high needs children which I have found very useful (and reassuring!) with L. If it helps at all, it has been my experience with L, and I think also Gina’s with E, that tantrums and battles were far more common at 4 than at 5, when they were gradually replaced by far more thoughtfulness and reasoning ability.

By: Daddybean

Daddybean — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 09:27:27 +0000

I have no idea

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 07:15:00 +0000

er – what was dodgy about my first comment?!!!

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 07:14:38 +0000

oh yes dissect an eye, we had such fun doing ours!

and will join you in ‘hmmming’ over parenting, it’s a constant challenge isn’t it? But I am sure the tantrums *will* get fewer and further between. They have done in our house. Although now we get hormone-tinged ones with door slams and stomping off included, but hey ho!