jessie’s song

TBH, I should be updating all the guidelines for one of my roles at work, but i can’t get microsoft office to open without crashing, so no powerpoints or word docs can be commented on.

SO i thought i would do a rambly post about jessie’s song in toy story. A friend posted that she was girding herself for it whilst her daughter watched the dvd, and we all understood. What is it about that that makes it so potent. the loved toy of childhood being relegated to under the bed when the child grows into a young woman, who eventually drives off into the sunset. Why are we mothers all finding ourselves with the toy? Is it because we look at our own wonderful children and feel sad for the stages they have past, and the toys that remind us of those times. Or is it because one day we will be like those toys. our wonderful, gorgeous, offspring will one day be driving off into the sunset, and like jessie we will be bereft. i think that is it. I love my daughters, and am glad for every precious moment i spend with them. Watching them grow up, find interests, change them, be challenged and move on from that, all of this is very precious to me. It is a gift to have a child, and be able to share in their lives so fully. It is a gift tinged with the knowledge of its very brevity. We all want our children to have happy and loving childhoods filled with fun, and we also want to prepare them and raise them so that they can drive off into the sunset, secure in themselves, full of enthusiasm and confidence to start life ‘their way’ . And yet, the thoughts of them leaving is a hard one. SB is 10. I hope that she will go to university at 18, an independant woman who is quietly confident and full of enthusiasm. I will be waving her off, determinedly proud and encouraging, not letting the tear fall until she has gone. But i know it will fall. My little firstborn baby. Followed by BB, and suddenly the house will be 2ce as big and unbearably quiet. But beyond that moment comes other happy moments. having more time for my own passions and enthusiasms, and that of my DH. working out how we are going to enjoy the rest of our life together as a couple rather than a family. Punctuated by the joyful return for short bursts of our girls, and maybe oneday their girls too. who knows. I don’t want to hold my girls in a cocoon, and I love watching them change and grow. but I also won’t be hurrying the time on, but making the most of what i have now. unlike the doll Jessie, I know of the change to come, but i also know there is a future beyond.