but if I find one I will share.
journey to N and N not too bad. Little Nanny in great pain and v stiff/immobile – def not up for home, even staying with us. We [me and BB] put a smile on her, especially when Aunty M arrived. bbwas a real godsend. SB had made a card and wanted to go, but i didn’t know the state of play so played with chris at home. I went just over 6 hours later.unfortunately after I went some miserable cow of a nurse told her she just wasn’t trying and made her cry. She then told Aunty M that she didn’t want to carry on. I *will not* have her die this way.
I’ve sat here crying cuddling BB and feeling an overall failure. Not sure how many straws bury a small camel, but feel not far off. will try and get emergency time off on tues and fri [ my non-clinical days next week] and visit but we are supposed to be away for the weekend, and going on hols in a fortnight.
SB greeted me with joy, and i gave her a good 3 hours of concentration – didn’t seem enough though to me.
I have just run out of cope.
Oh hun! (((Helen & family))) that is so crap to have to deal with. I wish I could say or do something to make it better, I really do. Thinking about you
thanks. i just feel so useless. too many priorities and not enough time. also is respect and dignity for a frightened elderly woman too much to ask for in a hospital. grr feels impotent some more.
(((Helen)) its really rough
– far too much to cope with in one go.
(((((hugs))))) I hope your Nan finds some strength to show them all what for. FWIW we thought my Nan was on her last legs several times, she perked right up after my Grandad died (he was ..erm.. irritable in his last months) and now despite seeming to have little to be chirpy about and spending all day every day in her chair in front of the TV seems to cope very well. She makes her own lunch and tea albeit nothing with a naked flame
and has her carers to help her dress and undress, whizzes round Asda on her mobility scooter when my Mum takes her and positively revels in seeing the kids every week. She had a couple of strokes and broke her hip (cutting my Grandads toenails – no wonder she was cheesed off with him 
), her speech isn’t great, her hand use isn’t fab and she walks with a frame but shes happy enough to decide to keep living and thats what counts. Seem to have rambled but HTH (((((coping vibes))))) 
I would say you definitely have enough on your plate at the moment to cause some damage to an enormous camel. Really hope things improve for you all soon.