love my girls

On the edu front, SB loves the Usbourne Time traveller book – so good buy.
For a great change she has been far more interested in letters, and writing, so thats good.
We also used the childrens atlas to work out how you got to athens, and just to play with the idea of countries.
Today was gym – I stayed to watch and SB really confident. How can she balance so well on a beam, turn around etc, and yet fall over ‘invisible worms’ at home? Great snow playing – in short bursts only.
We’ve been doing a bit on healthy living, germs etc, which SB seems to be mulling over, as she was talking to me about antibodies being the body’s armies in the car.
tots group gave a illustrated first bible type, and we read up to Gideon as bedtime stories – so well ahead on my religious studies!

Yesterday had friends round for a meal, and SB ended up staying up for the whole thing. [Not sure that was entirely appreciated, but I thought she behaved really well]. She helped one of them to cut up the fruit salad. A was a bit shocked that she uses sharp knives, and said to SB she didn’t know what to do as she had no girls, and didn’t want her to lose a finger. SB told her not to worry, she would tell her what ‘her grownups did’

Been a bit low/unsettled for last few days
hospital has run out of paper so couldn’t photocopy questionnaires – having trekked in, nor will they provide the envelopes. I know they are millions in the red, but clinical governance – AKA audit is compulsary, AND a good idea, how else do you find out if you are giving as good a deal as poss except by asking? I have been getting this through the various national, regional ethics committees, and local research and development committee [need nhs indemnity] since august. Since i was already aware i needed to personally pay for 160 second class stamps, adding 3 reams of paper and 320 envelopes to this is not on. Thinking how much time and energy i have put into this at a stressful time has turned me into a grumplestiltskin

my great uncle died on monday. he was ready, and has been gradually bowing out over the last year, so although sad for the loss of him, the timing feels reasonable as it were. my Nan is desperately sad though. i again feel increased pressure of time with her, knowing it is likely to be too short.

SB and I were discussing death, and she stated that Little Nanny would die soon as the oldest. So we discussed how sad that would be, but she would always be with us in our hearts. We discussed her sadness that her brother had died, and SB decided we needed to visit her lots, to cheer her up, and see her lots while we could.
When she returned to this theme at bedtime, and noticed I was nearly crying, I explained that I would miss her dreadfully, so she said not to worry, that Nanny would be in our hearts to always give us hugs, and we could teach BB all about her if she didn’t remember, so she would be in her heart too. That has completely done for me this whole evening.

Minor stresses –
house moving, money, sorting out all the bits. The surveyor for our buyers came today, and spent an hour and a half going round it trying all doors etc, and really detailed looking, so i’m panicking now that there was something wrong, they will want to pull out or drop their offer.

Countdown to full time work and all the crap mother ideas. Why am i looking at all the home ed, rather than leaving chris to do it, as all the things that excite me, I just wont get to do most of the time. Can’t bear the thoughts of missing so much. Ok, not so minor.

And still no chocolate. BB had the cuddle of her life – poor thing!
I need sunshine and Spring