Being taken for a ride – rant!

self indulgent ranting
I prob should password this, but the likelihood of someone from ex-work reading this approaches 0. After all, if they can’t read my sodding emails, they’re not going to read a blog.

I have been trying to organise a large RCT comparing the use of a graft material with none. Its all rather complex, but basically, it needs a long timespan audit/pilot study ti show material doesn’t ‘fail’. I did a 2 year audit 2 years ago, and atarted the 4 yr audit last summer. It took approx 60 hours to fill out all the ethics forms, and at 38 weeks pg, with broken foot etc I had to go and present it to the local ethics committee – all with a nominal presence only of the cheif investigator. To be fair, I always knew I was going to do pretty much all the work. She is a fantastic surgeon, but not so keen on the nitty gritty of audit. However, all i’ve actually asked of ‘the team’ is to get the remaining 40 case notes for me [i data entried the other 120 after retrieving them from the void before leaving for new job], 2 signatures, writing permission for honorary contract [so i am allowed to see said case notes], the paper and envelopes. I’ve provided time, stamps, mileage etc gratis. Oh, and I did ask if one of the 2 secretaries could do some of the photocopying. well, i got 1 of the sigs and nothing else, repeated emails and visits. last straw is that i need to pay for the paper and envelopes myself to go ahead [3 reams and 320 envelopes, as well as the 160 stamps] The lack of the second sig – which i’ve only just found out, means I cant do bloody thing yet anyway.

I guess what annoys me is that i still feel the guilty party for non-completion. I will also kick myself for stopping, as it is actually interesting, and may lead to improvement for prolapse results. However, there is no way to get this out before i move, and bugger all hope of ever getting the questionnaires forwarded onand analysed. Also the lack of help when i asked for things, but meaningless gesture offers given now to see if i can be conned into continuing. AAAARRRGH!!!

I’m not sure if they’ve actually grasped i’ve bowed out. i’ve left what i’ve done clearly organised with what needs to come next, but at lunch i was asked about the main rct design! Also some impression i’ll run about getting their posters up to glasgow whatever it takes – i think not!

family life
This unfortunately has spilled over into the rest of the day. I picked up SB from nursery. She was finishing an easter card – very nicely done, with happy easter written in it. And had done a lot of painting and letter shapes. [art, writing]

We went to gingerbread cottage to meet up with the post natal group. it was manic there as all the boys were fighting, some of the mums shouting and most looking harrassed. SB was quite upset as Z and his cousin W wouldn’t play with her at all – they were inseperable on Sun. I explained they were obviously just wanting to play together, and it wasn’t that they didn’t like her, just were in that mood. She was disconsolate, and then wouldn’t play with anyone else until the last 15 mins. sigh – and how do you deal with it? I cuddled her, agreed it was sad and gave options. [socialisation/PE]

We came home and she did some bike riding, then we made chocolate and banana muffins – yummy. I was still in mummy mode when the mixture was strewn around and an egg dropped. [baking] Although i knew i felt headachey and grumpy.

We then did studydog [english] which SB enjoying v much. She tends to do a bit much though and start to mess about. [ I'm still holding together] so we moved to cbeebies website. [IT]

However when we had the usual messing about over eating dinner i could feel myself being so intensely irritated that i had to leave the room before harridan helen took over. It took approaching an hour to eat. I just can’t bear it!

breathe helen!

house update
still not progressing, don’t know outcome of the building regs for carport thing, and waiting for the final surveys on place moving to.

breathe!!!!