In a blogring way, we cooked Sarahs aubergine and chickpea casserole for tea – very nice, and now see she is planning beetroot rissoto.
I think Chris and I are too tired. Work is very full on – and I guess will always be so, so I feel that I am full on in every aspect of my life, with little opportunity to catch my breath and just waste time! BB not sleeping, and my dreadfulness at going to be early combine to make me permanently sleep deprived as well. I notice that Chris and I get short with SB at times when we wouldn’t have done before. I shouted today, and have felt dreadful since, as it was just about putting her coat on – not life shattering at all. She had refused, I said fine, we got to the car and she was complaining she was cold, so I shouted. Sigh.
Chris and I need to work on this, as SB doesn’t respond well to being shouted at, and it is usually entirely unneccesary, just a release of our frustration. With my working, she is always keen to stay up as late as she can push it to play with me, and I can’t help but want to play with her. This, though, is also not helping, as I think she is sleep deprived too, and much more likely to wail at the slightest thing, therby setting mine/Chris’s teeth on edge, etc etc – you see how this goes. I think, as soon as I’ve got the things at work vaguely running, I can try not to stay late – I’m often back at 7ish on Tues and Thurs, so that we avoid those being late nights, and potentially try and leave a bit earlier on the Mon and Fri to be back by 4:30 – 5ish if i can.
Anyway, to today. I got up late – another poor night, not helped by SB going to bed so late, that i stayed up unneccessarily later etc etc! We went to stagecoach [and I shouted about coats]. SB always reluctant to go, though enjoys it whilst there, and we haven’t renewed to go next term. We might try it or something similar again when she is older. I am not totally happy with stagecoach anyway, as I think they teach the children bad singing techniques – ie louder and false american with smiles, rather than concentrating on tunefullness. However, thought she would love it – how wrong! While SB there, me and BB had a nice walk around the nearby country park – good for my cobwebs, and giving BB her own time.
the weather was so lovely I promised SB we could eat outdoors for lunch – so we did, warmly wrapped. Chris had made potato and leek soup – yummy.
I the afternoon, I read SB a magazine and a story whilst BB fed and then dozed and she did spiral drawing. We then spent quite a long time painting and did blow painting and stamp painting. a rather imaginative under the sea picture with handprints as seaweed and the fish/shell stamps. she even drew a safe path for divers.
She then coloured in a picture for a present for me. BB woke up so we had a fair bit of playing all together. Mostly with the stacking cups and the moving tortoise, with SB also using the spacehopper to bounce up and down the hall – to BB’s bemusement.
Later I read most of the Roman Usborne time traveller to SB, and we had a look for Italy and Rome on the globe, discussed empires vs kingdoms, capital cities, slaves and the rather horrible roman games! We did a page of thinking skills in maths 1a. I am feeling guilty about the lack of formal maths at the moment, so will try and gradually creep it in. Yep, I know not autonomous, but then I don’t pretend to be autonomous, just generally child led, but would feel more comfortable with a ‘normals’ set up in addition.
Tea was the well received aubergine and chickpea casserole, and then some story reading and general looking at our globe before bed, and the magic faraway tree at bed.
To tell the truth, I am wondering whether we are a bit slack to be home educators, as SB such a bright spark that part of me thinks we should really be managing to do normals, and let the rest be child led. Somehow, we don’t. its not a worry so much now, as she isn’t even compulsary ed age, and I do think formal education is pushed far too early, and yet….. [everything we did today bar stagecoach was truly autonomous]
Helen, don’t worry about having shouted at her, she’ll have forgotten it long before you have and she is so obviously such a very loved little girl. I’m guilty of being a bit shouty sometimes and sometimes I find I’ve been in a shouty frame for days before I manage to reign it in, so don’t feel bad about it, I don’t; we’re only human.
And I’m gobsmacked that you could even entertain the notion that SB’s HE is in any way deficient. You *must* be tired! (btw, formal maths doesn’t really exist in R, but you know that
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KWYM about the horrible tiredness /shouting cycle, though you’ve got more excuse – we seem able to do it even with our part time non-pressurised jobs and no baby. Still haven’t figured out what to do about the coat thing either!
Now our 5 year old is our second one, not our first, we feel that 5 is very little, and look back with bemusement on the time when we thought 5 was very big. Relax – I’m sure you know that SB is learning all the time, through everything you do together.
yeah, i know. having a wobble. mpstly due to her ease in crying/gettig upset/stropping a the moment making me query whole parenting style
Loved the beetroot risotto, btw, so thank you hugely for that one!
I question my parenting style every minute – and I need to too – and I don’t work at all! Helen you do a wonderful job and every time I read your blog I wonder how you and Chris manage it. xxx
Helen, if I blogged everytime I shouted at Tamsin I would do nothing else all day long but blog (but then maybe that would stop me shouting …?). not that I’m proud of it, and indeed I’m working hard to stop it, but if you only shouted once that day you are doing a whole host better than I am. And I still can’t believe how much you both do with SB – that puts me in the shade too…..
I really don’t see a problem wiht raising your voice to your child. She is your child you are her parent the adult. She needs to know that you are in charge, as yet she is not your equal and if she pisses you off then she needs to know about it. I have concerns about children who have never been told off/shouted at. irl it doesn’t always work that you get to sit and discuss, sometimes it’s just do and do it now.
You are a good parent, you do your best. That is enough, both your children are loved and devoted on. It seems like every spare second you have is given to them. I could say don’t worry yourself and stop stressing but in reality most parents spend their entire lives feeling like they are doing enough. I am 31 and have just had a phone call with my mother saying she isn’t doing enough to help me atm, isn’t giving me enough time. FFS! We are equal adults we live hundreds of miles apart. Nothing changes. She still apologises for raising her voice at me :-).
Coat thing when I have a buggy to take out (or are going in the car) is easy – I just say “Well, shall I take it for if you’re cold later?” and they are usually not arses and say “yes please” – I really don’t go for the ‘don’t take it to teach them a lesson when they’re cold’ approach! Not so easy without a buggy as I am less keen on being a packmule, but I haven’t had to deal with it yet this autumn.
You’ll just have to make the effort and get to bed early(ish
) Helen! If I did a day’s work there’s no way I’d then do what you do of an evening, I’d be an evil wreck.
I dunno that’s it’s that we think it’s problem, more of a case that we just don’t do it (I don’t think telling off = shouting) so if we do get short with her it’s probably symptomatic of something else
ditto me and Helen have never AFAICR had row about anything (as in shouting at each other type thing, as opposed to disagreements about something). though mayeb that’s just becuase i do as i’m told…..?
rofl. i think its more that we have not had signihicantly different views about somrthing important, yet!! we do have niggles and grumps.
we do tell sb off, count for her to do x etc, but usuaslly not shout. it is the shouting that i mind, as its a sign of me wrongly releasing frustrations.
coat notnormally a prob.
thanks for suuport and advice though. its easy to feel a crap parent when you are doing less parenting than you want, and easy to feel unworthy and substandard