BB is going through a rough patch at the moment. she has never been one of the most quiet and docile children, actually that isn’t quite true, she was a v sweet and charming baby! recently, however, she has struggled more with mood and keeping her tempter. we have had absolutely enormous temper tantrums with kicking, wailing, screaming and full force anger. This is pretty hard on all of us, including her. She really struggles to regain her composure, and is undeniably upset by it all, and i or we perhaps, are finding it really hard to parent sensibly this mercurial child who is otherwise adorable and funny and loving.
Anyway, things that happen without me! they went to a home ed group yesterday, with philosophy group – or as SB currently spelling it – flosfy, 
and she got some clarinet in with Gina, which she is really loving. my mum gave her a few breathing exercises to do, and suggested she did some of her practice lying on the floor, and experimented with mouth positions etc, and it all seems to have worked for her. She had gym, and BB blew off footie. in fact BB not fancying groups much at all at the moment, so prob going to stop rainbows and footie. [i'm a bit worried really, but i think that she gets enough outside play at various home ed things, and obviously just isn't ready for that sort of thing currently, but TBH, i always thought i would be most worried about SB, more soulful/heart totally on sleeve kind of girl]hmm!! anyway, various bits of home ed done. the loads of usborne look inside… books have been read by both girls, SB done ‘normals’ type things, and even BB some. this eve, when i returned from work, SB, BB and i looked at various optics things and the eye we have and had a fun time with that. they are both keen to dissect one now!
so, hmmmmm i think
oh yes dissect an eye, we had such fun doing ours!
and will join you in ‘hmmming’ over parenting, it’s a constant challenge isn’t it? But I am sure the tantrums *will* get fewer and further between. They have done in our house. Although now we get hormone-tinged ones with door slams and stomping off included, but hey ho!
er – what was dodgy about my first comment?!!!
I have no idea
All of mine have been most mercurial when low blood sugar (as in fact am I!) and J used to have awful tantrums at almost exactly BB’s age, having been Mr Laidback up until then, so it took us completely by surprise, which I eventually realised were caused by low blood sugar and tiredness – getting him to eat something (at times quite literally shoving food into his mouth) would work within minutes and help him to gain control. In extremis we also used holding (in arms and also legs if need be for J, in carrier or arms for L; K didn’t tantrum) until calm and able to talk. Doesn’t sound very AP but I think sometimes they were just looking for boundaries and the physical boundaries helped them to get their own mental ones sorted out too.
Having said all that, I do think that BB is immensely calmer overall now than she was 6 months ago and I suspect that if you keep doing what you’re doing and ride it out the sweet and reasonable BB we can see much of the time now will be the one we see most of the time and eventually almost all of the time
I do have several books if you want to borrow anything, including a Sears book on fussy babies and high needs children which I have found very useful (and reassuring!) with L. If it helps at all, it has been my experience with L, and I think also Gina’s with E, that tantrums and battles were far more common at 4 than at 5, when they were gradually replaced by far more thoughtfulness and reasoning ability.
thanks katy, would love to borrow something on high needs children, and will try and breathe through it! tiredness and hypoglycaemia certainly increase the likelihood of major tantrum, but she is rather an expert whenever things don’t happen exactly as she expected them to in her head. holding close does def help.
4 is a terrible age
It’s also pretty young for group activities, I think. I know a couple of kids from Brigades who started as soon as they could (4 1/2 for girls, 5 for boys), and struggled for a few weeks before giving it up for a while. They both came back a term or two later, full of renewed enthusiasm and have thoroughly enjoyed themselves since.