I hate them. They colour the way I interact with the world. I have them too often, they disrupt my life and my work. i think my kids will remember me as the mummy who lay on the sofa with a flannel on her head 
. I HATE them. they are not, however, breast cancer.
So, yesterday, and important day at work, i had a migraine, was in bed unable to move until 2pm, and even then barely functioning despite maximal drugs. And again today, maximal drugs required, tho i managed to get up at 11. [just] i can feel it getting worse again. Actually the screen not so bad if i close left eye when i have had drugs, and brightness reduced, and i mostly touch type. so can do it with eyes closed, whell i think i can! apologise for wrong spellings!. it is sounds and smells more that upset.
i am sure trepanning would work. there is this huge pressure just infront of my left ear, and pain fires forewards into left eye predom from there. my left eye feels at least twice the size of the rigt, and it is stretching and pushing at the socket. all my teeth on the left side hurt. they all fire off little waves of pain , building to horrible peaks. but the eye is worse. if i press over my temporal artery, it can seem slightly better, partic with a cool facecloth. its not just the pain – tho that is horrific and far more incapacitating than labour was – but i am nauseated or actively vomiting. my head on the whole feels like lead, tho the brain is a tiny crystal in it, so if i should be crazy enough to move my head quickly [or cough] the crystal pings around sending sparks of pain in all directions. my speech isn’t right. sometimes it is slurred, sometimes i just can’t find or say the words. they aren’t in my brain – which is now cotton wool, or thick syrup to wade through to the right thought or action.
I can’t walk properly – though that’s the drugs, they seize up my muscles, going up or down stairs i feel 90. far better not to try. especially as i can’t judge distance at all. i have fallen down them before. falling down stars with a migraine is a v exquisite form of torture. i drop things, the table isn’t where i thought, or my hand just decides to let go. I can’t drive [yes i have tried, being so desperate not to take time off work] as i just can’t tell where cars are. the drugs make my jaws ache, i can’t drink or eat. i dont know whether it is drug or migraine any more, but i ge tthe wrong signals for heat, so washing hands etc a pain.
i just want to die. mostly i keep going, i have had migraines that have lasted a week before. usually 4 days, approx every 2 weeks. you have to keep going. mostly the drugs work enough that i pass. but not yesterday, or today. I hate migraines. but they are not breast cancer
oh Helen, that is just awful. No, it’s not breast cancer, but really that doesn’t make it any less awful. It just seems wrong somehow that we can do so much these days but no one can work out how to cure something so debilitating for so many people.
Oh Helen, I’ve never read a description like that before, never really knew what a migraine felt like, how bloody awful. Sure it’s not breast cancer, but my goodness it must be horrific to have to live with so frequently. Sending you hugs and love and hoping for better days ahead x
Wow. That is an amazing description. I hate them too but never as frequent or as lengthy in duration as you. Nor as intense. A day is wiped entirely, days I can’t get back, including two of C’s birthdays. I don’t attempt to function but stay in bed. Vomiting is possibly my worst point but once I’ve retched my stomach lining up I do at least sleep and wake wonbly but functional (just). No it’s not cancer but many days are taken from you with suffering from them. I wish something could be done to help you be able to live without fear of them
NO, they are not breast cancer, but they are taking over a good bit of your life and I hated when my tonsils did that to me.
I wish you could find some way of alleviating them, or getting to the root of them. I hate to see you in such pain and misery