Category Archives: Ponderings

A few Christmas reflections before the moment passes, Helen may well add something I guess.

Well first thing, so glad we did it. Yep it required some organisation and serious list making ;-), and required a bit of work, but it was such a great, lovely time. For us Christmas is a time for family getting together, and that we (mostly) did. I particualrly apprecited my Mum and Dad being able to share it as for various reasons it’s a long time since we actually shared Christmas day with them.

So some highpoints, no doubt incomplete and in no particular order:

• The preparation – it’s all part of it really, ok some was scuppered a bit, by flu, broken arms, gogin to Devon etc. but it most/enough got done. Stringbean loved putting the tree up and decorating. it. The carols, the lights, it all goes to set the tone. In particualr, SB putting the tinsel on the stairs all by herself, and directing the application of the ivy. Having got so much cooking done and stashed in the freezer made catering so much more stress free
• Christmas Eve and everyone getting here. In the space of a few hours suddenly the house seemed much more full. Though we were so knackered from a very bad night with a poorly Butterbean, and had had to spend the morning fixing curtain tracks up in SB’s room (one was quick and easy, one a total pain… that come the evening I was flagging when there was still much to sort our for xmas day
• Getting a cooker off Freecycle a few days before Christmas, made cooking the Christmas dinner for us all a sensible proposition. Though putting in a supply for cooker isn’t normally part of my xmas preperations….
• Cooking Christmas dinner, most of it done by me and Helen’s mum, with Helen doing what her arm would allow. It was served dead on time, exactly and hour after we said the target time was moslty becuase catering for such a number we got the timings for somethings a bit wrong. And becuase our gas oven is hopeless at cooking too much But it all got cooked nicely, roasties were rather good and didn’t run out. But we really dsidn’t need the extra kilo of sprouts MIL convinced me to buy. Satisfying to see us all sat down round our rather lovely dining room table tucking in.
• The kids playing together – esp. SB and her oldest cousin M (about 7 months older) who spent ages palying happily away often at times we didn’t see them much for a while. Occasional hiccup, but nothing not to be expected. Though when they are off playing upstairs or whatever so mcuh I do miss them being around us liek they were when younger and seeing their playing.Her younger cousin E (2) was very much the happy toddler, pootling about as they do. It was a shame that BB was poorly at first, exp. xmas eve, she just wanted cuddling and was very un-Beany, but got well enough to show her normal cheerful, smiley self over the last couple of days.
• Toy of the holiday – Thunderbirds Tracey Island – it was M’s present which he loved, but SB very much joined in the games, even though she has no clue about Thunderbirds. Her dressed in her Princess Belle xmas present dress playing running around with the Thunderbirds was amusing.
• Chillin’ – ok not so much of it when you are hosting, but still plenty of time for having drink , a nibble, having a chat, or just sitting and watching/listening
• Cooking 8 litres of Leek and Potato soup – most got used up – only 2 litres left in the freezer
• Helen’s Dundee cake, it was rather lovely
• ‘Little Nanny’ Helen’s Nan here and looking so well after a tough year for her. able to relax and enjoy her family her around her.
• My xmas cake – tasted rather nice too, and lovely and moist and fruity. I thought me and SB did a rather good job of the last minute icing job.
• Wacky Wigglers, Though she seemed to have forgotten all about it, when ever she saw these in the catalogues she always said she really wanted them. When she opened them xmas morning she really did exclaim ‘it’s what I wanted’ They are great fun
• This house – it’s such a great place for doing such things. Space for the kids to chase around, space for sitting in company, space for sitting quietly, space for feasting. It’s what it asks for really.
• Help – esp. from Helen’s Mum, who as well as helping cook xmas dinner, helped get the house ready and did so many other things and my mum, who provided us with the veggie ‘centre’ of our meals as well as cake, trifle and other things
• The Town Band, standing outside in the middle of the village just up the road from us playing carols on Christmas eve morning – I did get to go and see them but could hear the sound drifting up.
• The church bells (we almost overlook the church) on christmas morning ring for the Christmas morning service.
• SB waking up , getting into bed next to me and obviously having forgotten that it was Christmas morning, until prompted
• Memories- The first christmas we have done for ages (we did it once in Leeds, for rather less people), but for me. with the kids, so much family around, in what is intended to be our family home indefinitely, this one will have special memories for a long time to come……..

We had a lovely time, thanks to everyone who came, everyone who contributed.

We tooka few photos :-), will appear on Flickr soonish . But this might be my favourite:

Though a few seconds later BB did get run down by the trike.

I got quite upset actually at the hallowen party. Something that was said to me as an almost aside about me not being the main parent – and certainly not intentionally meant to upset me. I find it really hurtful. I am at home with the girls only 3 days out of 7, but there are the evenings as well, and I really try to make them count.

Maybe I wouldn’t mind so much if I didn’t miss the girls so much, and find the work life balance off as it is. I know I am devoting time and attention, and am sure I am a really here for them parent. Why am I burbling? I guess it is cos I worry that my children will grow up and agree that I wasn’t there for them, or loved them less than I could have done because I work.

I guess it is also because SB has in the last week started running to Chris first again, after us being equals, and that hurts, even though anticipated and expected. I love them both so much.

SARS, avian flu pandemics, aaarrrrrghhhhhhhhh.
fragile parent mode.
aaarrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh

Was IM-ing Nic, and we got on to HE – like you do. We were generally commenting on how many different parenting setups/ styles and HE emphasis on the blogring, and how great it is to be able to read from them and learn from them. I also find it a relief that many of us seem to have our insecurities, rather than just me! I feel often that i would like to do x like a does and y like b does etc etc. however….

Yet when all the children get together, what do we see – a horde of bright and shiny happy, often too articulate children which on the whole get on well with each other – who they see rarely. OK, we don’t sit them down to SATS [ROFL!], but it suggests to me that the common thread – which is that we all love and care enough – is probably going to be the key one to our children’s happiness.

Does this mean that i am going to stop stressing -ROFLMHO – I doubt it!!

And, I have different trousers on now, not inside out! I believe SB has mostly weblanded today, and some tidying.