Category Archives: Ponderings

Working still

My girls seem to be managing well without me. And went to a singing group today, and then did some painting. [maybe chris will blog?]

got home earlyish after a busier day at work, and fed BB for an inordinate amount of time, as she hadn’t drunk anything while I was out.

We all went outside to hang up bird feeders, and just enjoy new garden. SB cycled round the paths a bit. She likes the utility room stable door, and has had her hobby horse peering out of it for a bit. Whiskey cat was allowed a short prowl in the garden as well.

BB getting grumpy, so came in for some pureed carrot – which she liked. Let SB feed her some, and she was really careful doing it. We read some of the usborne starting point science while I gave BB yet another feed – where does rubbish go, whats under the ground, and also some singapore maths 1A again – which I was pleased about.

Starting to feel a bit dislocated from my family, but think that it is partly cos Chris is getting to know area, and I am clueless, and also that unsettled new routine thing. i am sure when it gets going I shall be less wobbly about coming home and finding they have had a life in my absence! Trying to do most of the bed routine as well, so that i get to do lots of cuddles too.

we must get some piccies up of new house soon, as I am starting to feel it is a home – particularly as it now looks like a bombsite in our bedroom!

Meanwhile at home…..

I realised today just how much time/energy/thought I?ve been expending on the house sale/move preparations, for what is literally months. I?ve not been able to feel I could relax into a day without thinking, must do this, should have done that etc. I think my time with Stringbean has suffered a bit because of this. So it was good to have all that behind us (I can ignore all the stuff that still needs unpacking/sorting?.) and just enjoy the day. I?ve not really been responsible for them both all day yet except for a couple of occasions, and then H wasn?t far away. So it will be interesting how that works out.

Morning of course saw Helen off for her first day back at work, so that was on the whole a bit sad, though also a bit exciting, as it really marks the start of a new period in our lives. It?s a real shame though that we didn?t get moved earlier and Helen have more time at home down here. Packed Nanny and Grandad off a bit later as well, leaving me and the Beans to our own devices. Butterbean had some Pear puree for breakfast, seems to be happily starting on the weaning so far.

After 4 days of moving, sorting etc. decided it was time to get out. So went round the corner to the village library to join up. The library was closed a few years ago by the County Council, but then taken over and run by volunteers from the village (mostly it seems, as so often with these things ?ladies of certain age?). Not entirely sure of the setup, they have their own stock, as well as some from the Library Service, but also still use the same cards and computer system as the County Library service. Anyway seems a nice little library, the Beans got plenty of appreciate comments, they had their monthly coffee/tea/booksale thing on, and also a Storytime for the kiddies. So that was good, Stringbean enjoyed that, got to play with one of the other little girls, and I got to meet a few other parents, including another Dad. Half a dozen stories read, and then a little craft activity.. Stayed at the end (we were going to get some books anyway) and helped tidy up, got chatting to the women who had done the readings and another dad – who lives just down the road from us. Got a ?pop round for coffee? type invite, so will follow that up sometime.

?Came out? about our HE intentions, as there was some discussion regarding the position if you don?t want to send your child to school ?early? when they are 4 but defer the place and wait until they are 5. It had been suggested that the school/LEA would just want to put them into the year 1 class, bypassing Reception anyway, which may miss the point of not sending them early, and then there is the issue of getting a place ? yes you could just wait until the relevant time, but then they might not get a place in the school they wish ? hence the desire to get a place and then defer it. Of course discussion came round to what SB would be doing, so I just came clean :-) Apparently there is someone else in the village HE?ing.

So books got, headed home via the local shops (Butterbean in ?big? pushchair + Stingbean with her dolly pushchair = chaos in small shops?..) Picked up a ?treat? for us all for later in the rather-to-convenient bakery opposite our house ? will have to try to avoid making a habit of that :-) Had lunch (mostly carrot sticks and olives for SB, Butterbean had a bit of bottle, but not that impressed with it all really). After reading all the library books took them both for a visit to their new nursery they will be attending 2 days a week, as expected they both got on fine, so that was good. It seems a nice place, staff are friendly, but they have plenty to live up to in our eyes compared to the last place :-) I used the time for various boring shopping tasks ? like a whirly gig thing for the washing then home to meet Mummy, cue much feeding from Butterbean, and reading, Webland etc. for Stringbean while I got tea etc.

All in all a good day, though I at least need a time of adjustment here while I settle into things. Tomorrow (well today) we have two going out options, but I think one will do, some time ?just being? in the house will be good as well.

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Sun is Shining in the Sky

I think we may have broken the back of it yesterday, still lots to do, but feels just about manageable.

Just sitting here, drinking tea, getting ready for the day, getting ‘five minutes peace’, and looking into the garden. Sun is shining through the Flowering Cherry, which looks lovely, it has come into bloom to say good by to us. Always liked this room at his time of the day as the sun shines into it. Garden a little sad at the moment, lawn too long, veg beds etc. rather weedy, feel it would have been better to hand over in bit of better state, but …….

Just reflecting on things, on the plans we had for the garden that were never achieved (sorry dear, you never did get that deck under the Oak tree for summer evening drinks…..), and things that were – like digging those veg beds in the first winter, me and my Dad building the herb beds. The last one is poignant for me, as he’ll not do to anything like that again for us, he just can’t manage it anymore. :-(

8 years+ have seemingly whizzed past here, so many good memories – getting married, the excitement of things new, the future, children, sunny days in the garden. Excitement for the new house will come again, but today seems to be one for reflecting on the good things we have had, the future will be here quick enough (is there a smiley for ‘wipes a tear’? *sniff*)

Ah well, SB is up, Cbeebies is on, BB is ‘raarring’ upstairs, time to get on.

*sniff*, *sniff*, *sniff*……..

you’ve heard the best , here’s the rest…………

Obviously the best was hearing exchange has finally happened, and completion planned for 29th April. Somewhat later than I desired, as wanted to settle a bit in new area before return to work, but at least before start date!

So the rest, well we all got up early today – something to do with sun streaming through the windows. BB required a night feed again – think its cos as 21 weeks and still exclusively breastfed, getting the munchies a bit more often. I think as we are still not getting very far with al sorts of different expressed milk delivery systems, that we will introduce solids the weekend before I start work [23 weeks], so at least something can go in. Letting milk slosh in and round everywhere is the most successful technique, but due to the move, I have none frozen, and so every drop precious! i would hope not to have to supplement with formula while i am at work, but I am going to have to be a bit pragmatic about it. I am already expressing once in the evening, and although only obtaining 4-5 oz, could do more, and will aim for about 8 on return to work, plus a lunch express at work of about 6 should give us 5 3oz bottles per day while I am out, and I’ll do massive feeds when at home. if I get a 4 day week, am secretly hoping for Wed off [well thats what i suggested] as that breaks up the days I’m away nicely, and I think will make it less likely that formula supplement needed. I love the milky/toffee smell of exclusively bf babies though – BB burping over me!

BB not so sqwawky today. In our morning, after SB gone to nursery [she cycled there uphill with Daddy – PE] she had a nice bath and massage and then a long waggling sessions. She’s thinking of how to roll over – though not actually done it, and has much better co-ordinated arm and length movts. Sitting is a great skill now, as is stuffing anything in her mouth! cooing and ra-ing at me i think she is going to be a talker like her sister!

Picked SB up from nursery and took to gingerbread cottage – my last ever [ and hers] new mums. [socialisation, PE] next tues nursery has a party, so she will be doing that instead. We first met when SB 11 weeks old, and have been meeting every Tues since then – though I am a bit more erratic! its pretty much 4 years exactly. Its very sad to say goodbye to such a good support group, though my need for it has gone. I found SB a bit stressful, and they were my sanity link, as I realised all the children were stressful in one way or another, and we were all just trying! We come from all walks of life – as the saying goes, with v differing views on every issue pretty much, but in spite of that, struck up good friendships and been regular features in each others lives. The children have played well together [on the whole, after all none of them are perfect!]. I would just like to take this opportunity to register a vote of thanks to the lot of them for all the friendship and tacit support – even when they must have thought I was mad [cloth nappies - though other users with second children - LOL; planned extended breastfeeding - though others did by default; a certain amount of continuum concept parenting, and finally home-ed - you get the drift]. Not that they read my blog – though have given the address in case they fancy seeing what we are doing. Most have no internet access. thankyou to their children – SB’s playmates through the years as well. life goes on, some threads are renewed, some replaced, but we are glad for the time we have shared.

On return, SB in odd mood – prob partly due to mine, partly as she was aware last time she would see some of these friends, and partly due to lack of sleep over weekend still. We calmed down by seeing what Daddy doing in the garage, some education city – as we haven’t signed up, they have extended the trial – persistant lot aren’t they! We have done foundation year and first for science, though SB happy to do some again, potteres through most of foundation maths, and a lot of foundation english. cbeebies on the internet and the bananas in pyjamas website as well. SB certainly has the letters off pat in upper and lower case, with prompting can do a bit of ordering, usually recognises first and last letters and can sound out. just awaiting that spark! [aside – a momentary rather overwhelming pang that in all likelihood it will be chris that sees this eureka moment] I think we will be passing on education city as the summer is coming, and we are far more outdoorsy then, BB more mobile, so not so sofa tied – after all chris not breastfeeding. [this going back to work crap]. will keep the link and rethink perhaps in future years.

Whistling has progressed, and SB v keen on this new skill. Oh she took her bridesmaid photos to nursery as she was so proud of it – bless. Actually her musicality as a whole has improved. while singing she is much more likely to stay close to pitch, and her violin playing getting more structured – last played on friday, as didn’t blog, and she usually puts bow in the right place, and with the right pressure to get notes. Also we practiced putting fingers on the strings in different places to change notes. We are gradually getting a bit of formality in, bit by bit so that imperceptibly we are moving towards actually learning rather than messing [music]. She is also happy to have classic fm on rather than her own song cd’s in the car – blessed relief!

After bath was slightly stressful as she was unsettled, whingy and just not right. however, cuddles and stories and CD and she has fallen asleep by 8.30. BB just fallen asleep, so I guess I should do some sorting for move

more politics

well, chris is blogging weekend – allegedly – so I have to blog something.
rather liked this political one, as has a scatter graph
my results

Crime and punishment, internationalism

Your position on this axis is -3.9
You are likely to be fairly internationalist and rehabilitationist.
Economics, etc

Your position on this axis is -0.7
You are likely to be slightly socialist and anti-war.

lots of intersting blah, and prob green best match

oh, and on this site, it is lib dem!

Autonomous/child led/child centred?

maths 5, literacy 5, science 3, history 3, Geography 5, PE 3, Socialisation 3, Arts/crafts 6, Languages 3, Domestic science 4

These are the number of mentions these topics have had in the last week. We have been pretty much child led [ie things offered only when SB at a loss until she decideds on one - usually read a book as well], and since there were 2 nursery days, which must count as socialisation, so add 2 there, I’m quite impressed by how balanced it looks without trying. Obviously, different amounts of actual time are involved, and I have little evidence of actual learning!! [as not tested!]

She has had a specific interest in volcanos this week – def not sparked off by me at all. Also has spontaneously been coming out with litle snippets of information – ie at the grand canyon thing when they mentioned 4000 years ago, she asked if that was far enough ago for dinosaurs, where although it isn’, it did actually show to me a grasp of the concept of a v long time ago, which hasn’t always been evident.

So, which way we will eventually jump?? Certainly not leaning towards the full homeschooled with rigorous timetables. Also not completely autonomous, as with the shared [hopefully] pattern, we will need to have a story arc as it were to the education, but the infilling on an autonomous front, so that we can get resources ready for the week, and see what we get through. May get stuff together for small projects, to get us all into the swing, and have ideas for family/home centered ones, and a few others that we can have ready, as well as reacting in a lets find way to whatever takes her fancy. Hopefully our style will evolve to gel with SB’s natural learning patterns.

I think the nice thing about thinking about it and starting so early, is there really isn’t any pressure on us to show results as yet. So we get to develop first. [though there is an emphasis on reading at this age, prob as you can see that they're nearly there, grasping at it, and you just want to give it to them]

Wondering what the difference will be with Chris in the driving seat??

I like Grand Designs

But am perpetually amazed by things like this and property ladder where people seem to ahve been lent huge amounts of dosh by friends – in this case approx ?40,000. WHo are these people with such affluent friends? And then, having been lent all this money, they do a real design statement with the house, plus unnecesaries, such as a hidden bath under the bed – whats that all about? Where is their pride? they prob could have built framework and then had second hand furnishings and basic bathroom etc without borrowing the ?40000. then done it up as they got the money – isn’t that how most people do it? house did look good though. maybe I’m just ranty as in wibble mode.

Anyway, enough of rants. We had a nice day today – though still recovering from crap lack of sleep, and I’m going to bed any minute. Struggling to remember what we did though.

Oh yes, we did a lovely birthday card for Little Nanny [Mum's Mum] and Aunty Margaret – well in advance cos things are about to get interesting around here! [arts and crafts] I particularly liked the fact that she had such a strong idea of the design she wanted rather than random stickings – it was a window card with ladybirds and feathers.

Hm, oh yes we played memory game with her shape snap cards. pogoing, shops – and wrote a very squiggly shopping list. Also lots of joint playing with BB, so seem gradually to be getting that one sussed! We also did the education city reception level maths [maths]

For the afternoon we went to tots group – they were all very suprised that we hadn’t moved yet, and having said goodbye and got upset about it once, I’m annoyed that I will be doing it again. [socialisation]

Aunty Margaret came round, and SB proudly shew off the memory games of numbers and fractions on Joe the dragon, and did some more of the reception level education city english games. [literacy]. Also played hide and seek, and read a magazine. Also a fair bit of BB cuddling and playing going on. BB is getting close to that Eureka roll moment.

Aunty Margaret also brought me a lovely paperweight with a heart imprint. She is going to be as sad for us leaving, as I am to go. She’s just come back from a weekend at Little Nanny’s, and reported that my offer of welcome and home was well received, but although Nanny was overjoyed that we would think of her, she still isn’t going to do it!

A bit of vegging in front of nick jnr, dinner, bath – without dolly this time, though some fuss over whether she had ‘bath knickers and vest’ on. OK, I prob should have said yes, as no big deal, but lack of sleep makes me less flexible, and she wasn’t that bothered. She’s been more of a pickle tonight over sleep, and come down twice – so has actually watched half of the grand designs prog, and was v interested in the house building. she also was commenting how unlike it was to ancient egyptian house [so is taking things in!] and pointing out various differences and some similarities. [design, history]

Finally settled in bed, I’ve done a scout around the blogring, written this, and will retire!

no thoughts for the day, as lack of sleep monster has rendered me witless!

oh sod it, jsut realised done the whole lot as CHris – though I’m sure you know it sounds like Helen!

Debbie’s Interview Answers

Sorry Debbie, took a while for me to finish these, and now I’ve also got
some from Merry as well.

1. If money and time were not limited, where would you most like to go on holiday?

Everywhere ? :-)

It would have to be round the world trip, maybe twice to fit all the places in? By train – we love long trains journeys and also motorhome, and by bike – it could be long trip…… I’d probably actually do it in stages, coming home for bits in between.

Itinerary, ooooh hard one. We’ve done the Trans-siberian, maybe do that again in winter, or the ‘southerly’ – more ‘Asian’ route. Get in trips to places such as Samarkand (I just love the sound of that word), or maybe travel the old Silk Road? End up in Bejing, travel down through China though SE Asis, into India and down through India, hop skip and jump through Indonesia to Oz.

‘Must do’s’ there. The train from Darwin to Adelaide, via Alice Springs, Last time we had to bus it from Darwin to Alice Springs, then the train, and of course the Indian Pacific across the Nullabor plain to Perth. And at least explore some of Western Australia by motorhome/4×4.

Where next? – the Americas. Maybe start right down the bottom, work our way up through South and Central America, by road and Train etc. then say train across the US west to East, up to Canada, back across Canada on the train, crossing the Canadian Rockies, then by RV up the west
coast to Alaska, back down through Canada Cross the US from NW to SE by road.

Would finish off with a south to north Africa trip – obvious stuff like the big game/wild life etc., but also places like Namibia’s Skeleton Coast, and soem of the interesting places such as Greater Zimbabwe, and some of the places Don Cruickshank was visiting recently on TV.

Saunter home via Europe.

2. What would you consider to be a successful education for your
daughters?

Well one of our plans for SB is ‘to do’ a Britney Spears, and make sure that we ‘filter’ off enough of her millions to set us for our retirement (and the above trip…) so whatever facilitates that really :-)

Plan B:

I guess in short, to enable them to achieve their dreams, what ever that might be (assuming that, unlike me, they know what their dreams are of course – that’s the first goal then….) that they grow up to be independent, confident, caring, assertive women, feeling able tackle
whatever situations they find themselves in. To have enquiring minds, enough of an understanding of the culture, history, science etc. of the world around them to make sense of it all. To see life as an adventure. To be able to write symphony or build a house if they so wish.

I do believe that this probably involves qualifications of some sort or another at some point. No I don’t think you should necessarily just do them for the sake of it, but nor to I really go for the idea that some HE’s put forward that you can always do them in life when you want them.
Yes, you can, but it can be much harder work. In the end I think qualifications are to an extent about choices – sure you don’t always need them, and yes there are examples of people succeeding without them. but in general, I think they open more doors to you in life.

3. What would you most like to learn?

To play a musical instrument, or maybe even to sing. Helen comes from a very musical family, is good musician and has perfect pitch, I am tone deaf – a great mix. I love singing to the girls, but I know that I sound crap, I’d really like to be good at it. And as the girls get older they will start playing instruments (we have a piano, and SB already has acute little violin) I’m going to feel very left out.

4. Which experiences in your life (max. 3) have influenced who you are
today?

Hmm, a toughie, I can’t say that there is one moment that hits me as a great ‘changing experience’. Maybe I’ll try and pick one thing from different stages of life.

a. 1964 – When I was almost 2 year old, my Dad had an operation in hospital for a (benign) lump in his neck. Short version of story is that the lump was next to the carotid artery, the surgeon cocked up the op in major way (Carotid artery? oooo, just snip here….), my Dad’s blood supply to his brain on that side was cut off for too long and he end up very close to death. He ended up paralysed on the left hand side (arm and leg) and it also affected his mental capacities as well.

Now I don’t know exactly what influence this had on my life, as it happened so early on in my life. But it meant that we stayed in London a lot longer (my dad had been part of group self building their houses), my dad never really had proper job again (he had a pretty crappy job in Sainsbury’s for bit), but mostly didn’t work, or my parents ran businesses such a guest house and an old people home. It meant that for lot of my life both my parents were around lot of the time. I’d don’t know, I just feel that it will have influenced my life in all sorts of ways

b. 1982 (age 19) When Channel 4 was launched, once of the early programs was ‘The Animals Film’ . Now the film itself is I suspect a bit dire, I can’t remember, and much on their I suspect I knew a fair bit about anyway. But it did inspire some good conversations with the rest of the family, esp. my Aunty Ethel as I remember, which led to me shortly becoming vegetarian, I’ve been so ever since, a fair while also vegan (though not now) and with me being involved in various stuff at University. As is the way of these things, I guess I don’t really do or think much about that sort of thing any more really, but my veggieness has stuck, and has been a thread through my life.

c. July 1988 (age 26) met and fell in love with Helen, the rest as they say, is history – and a happy one at that. I think Helen has influenced my life much more than I hers, she’d I’m sure still be an O&G consultant now even if I’d not appeared on the scene. I’m a bit of an aimless soul really. When I met Helen I was living the scruffy post student life in Brighton. I moved to London and hen to Leeds when she got her job up here, I became teacher, I had two lovely daughters. If I hadn’t met Helen I honestly don’t really know what direction my life would have taken, which bits would have been similar and which different.

And Helen, when you read this, no I don’t mind/regret this one little bit. No need to get all wibbly on me :-)

5. If you had the chance to meet a celebrity for dinner, who would it be and why?

Ohh, now you’ve got me. I’m such a celebrity unconscious person, I’m often pushed to recognise even really famous ones, let alone more minor ones, so first of all I’ve actually got to think of one…..

And most celebrities come across as quite uninteresting people – well I suppose some just are anyway, but understandably – they want to show a public front and hide away to an extent the real them. So can’t say I’m inspired by a lot of them to be bothered to meet them, even though they
may turn out to be quite interesting people. So I’d want someone who either seems to have something in common with me in some way, or who would be entertaining, or who just seems that there would be scope for interesting conversation.

If we are talking ‘A’ list (in her time anyway) then maybe Lauren Bacall, with such long and active life she must be good for a story or two.

For the first criterion, maybe Hugh Fearnley Whitingstall for his interest in self sufficiency , food, cooking etc. and his general laid-backness or Kevin McCloud so we can muse on interesting houses.

Entertaining? – well Steven Fry should be ‘Quite Interesting’ :-), there does seem to be bit of depth to him, but if not he should have some good tales and jokes :-)

On a different tack, and not a celebrity in the typical sense I guess. If he was still alive then I’m sure the scientist Stephen Jay Gould would be fascinating guest, I’m always amazed at how much he draws into his writing, from science, the arts, history, sport. Alternatively, EO Wilson might be an interesting, if different alternative. I always found him an interesting writer, even when I did agree with his ideas necessarily, and he is one of the key evolutionary biologists of the last 50 years. I’d hope for some stimulating conversation.

Thanks Debbie, some interesting questions there, a bit of food for
thought.

If YOU want to be interviewed (is there anyone left?):

1. Leave me a comment saying ‘interview me’.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions (not the same as you
see here).
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
(If you don’t have a blog, let this inspire you to begin one!!)
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone
else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five
questions.