Petits Haricots

Interviewed by Monster and Teeny’s Nic.

1. How did you and Chris meet?

well i guess that the duke of edinburgh introduced us, with a bit of help from my dad!
To get into med school I did the duke of edinburgh gold award, and had done all but the week away thing. I was finishing the first year and asked dad just to arrange something, so he chose a british trust for conservation volunteers week, making steps for a footpath at boxhill. Chris was the driver/cook and I needed a diversion after my exams! obviously very diverting.

2. How did you hear about HE and who convinced who?

Think this is 2 questions really!
At about 2ish, i decided that i wasn’t that keen for SB to be thrust into a large class at an early age. thinking she was going to be our only, i looked into private ed, and there is a lovely family school nearby. it has small groups, nurturing environ etc, and i thought that sounded good. I also thought about just starting late – 7ish, which i think is more sensible. Chris also was thinking along same non-school lines for similar reasons, but caught a thread on one of the NG about home ed and joined some lists first. About 2 1/2 we discussed it, and started to think seriously about home ed. I guess chris was the primary driver as off and on, i still think i may have gone the private route if no money issues, and an equally friendly place where we are moving. Partly cos last year in partic the grown up HE groups were scary places and it seemed inevitable that SS would knock on your door, and only children with special needs that school had failed, children that had suffered bullying, or those with very unconventional ways of life were HE. [I consider myself v conventional] However sticking mostly to mud pud, and meeting HE-ers from there and also yorks region has been good.
i still think we can do a far better job than school, but look at it in bite-size chunks, that we will HE until SB 8, and think then on how it has gone, and whether still right thing to do. now we have that decision, I think in typica Helen style I have then gone about looking at the practicalities and retail therapy with more of a vengeance than Chris!

3. Describe yourself in three words

This sounds like one of those dreadful moments in medical interviews when they want to know the difference between clinical governance and audit ‘in three words’ [bugger all really]
Not Really Sure? [maybe will come back to this?]

4. Songs and readings at funeral
well, hopefully someone to stand up to say I had a good innings, was happy in my life, and leave behind a lot of love. music can be vaughn williams lark ascending. [green burial under tree please]

5. What would I like SB and BB to say about me as a mother
another tricky one really, as I so want it all to be positive!
I guess it is important to me that they remember home primarily as a place of love and safety. hopefully that Chris and I worked as a team to put in place what we could to help them acheive their dreams. I want them to have felt loved, valued and empowered. With lots of laughter on the way. That perhaps I juggled work and home OK so that has given them more confidence in making their choices. I would like them to feel that I was still loving and affirmative of their choices, however different, when they reached adulthood. Also that we could agree to disagree without any loss of respect or trust.

I guess that is it. Thanks Nic.

If YOU want to be interviewed:

1. Leave me a comment saying ?interview me.?
2. I will respond by asking you five questions (not the same as you see here).
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions. (If you don?t have a blog, let this inspire you to begin one!!)
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions

well, marginally better anyway, enough to blog as long as I don’t actually look at the screen – suits my typing style anyway! Temp gone down, still migrainous, but heavy duty tablets taken.

SB and chris nipped to the shops for milk and bread. BB asleep – at least she slept better last night, though SB instead squiggled her way into our bed! Don’t know what they have been up to all day though!

We are off to my parents for Easter, which will be nice. I think I added on end of last blog that my Nan’s breast cancer spread further.I am devastated by this, as though all too aware that the 5 year survival was 50% at best, you hope that the person you know will be in that 50%. She is on year 4. Also, had the GP sent hr to hospital 7 years previously when she had first noticed a lump, rather than telling her it was nothing, she might actually have been cured [rage!] – or if I’d have known!!!

She is fiercely independent at 82, and lives on her own in Norfolk, and none of us is particularly close – I will be the closest when we move. She has severe arthritis, so walking and chores are hard – but she doesn’t accept help. My Aunt has said she can live with them, but Nan is not keen as she would be alone in the daytime, and no-where actually within walking distance she could go, so feels she would completely lose all independence. Also, this is the house she spent all her married life with my grandad, so doesn’t really want to let go.

Ideally we would have been closer, and I did look for jobs in Norfolk, so we could have popped by at least on 1ce or 2ce weekly basis, and done a big shop together etc. We will try fortnightly from where we are – which my aunt and my mum both visiting monthly, that should help.

I am aware though that as cancer is spreading through her bones, her present independent living may be compromised. I’ve discussed it with chris, and good fellow that he is, we are going to tell her she has an open invitation to come and live with us as we live across road from 2 shops in a village location, and family will be at home most of week. No idea of the practicalities, but I’m sure we would muddle through. I don’t think she will accept, though I will be happy if she does. But at least she will know that if she ever wants to, our door is open to her. Time is just so precious isn’t it, both with my 2 girls, who grow up so quickly, and then with those that I have loved all my life that will leave me too soon.