hmm, have delayed writing this blog post to see if would be uplifting a cheerful! sorry. i feel a bit worse than a ham sandwich – and that is a pretty bad thing for a vegetarian
yesterday my mum and dad brought little nanny to visit. it was lovely to see them, but she has got noticeably frailer in the last month since i saw her. the lump over her breast and collarbone is clearly the start of a fungating cancer, though she doesn’t really want to admit this, or consider any treatment options. i have suggested to her she needs to as it will only get worse. not sure if she will. just had to have a short break there. anyway, the girls were delightful and played games and entertained. I love my Nanny. i guess though, what I am wishing for her, above all else is to maintain the dignity she has always had.
after they left, we finished off the day with doctor who and time team, feeling rather subdued.
today i haven’t felt much better TBH, and realising we had let a few home-ed things slip through our fingers hasn’t helped self esteem much. we could do a lot better really. we neither go out loads, or do ‘normals’ or projects and stuff, and well, blah!
But today, SB has done a lot, and it hasn’t made me feel any more competent! She did some galore park english – we are working through one tiny section at a time, as she really isn’t keen on writing, but is wanting to get better. she wrote a lot, and although the spelling is highly imaginative, she is getting the idea. She spent ages beading – i have a bracelet and some presents have been made, and also playing with Barbies. The birds have been fed again. She also did piano practice. Together we have done some conversational french, and a quick look at chapter 1 and 2 minimus vocab – as she said on the way home from melrose then only latin word she knew was fatigata! Also, whilst she was painting a picture of soap for sketch tuesday, i read something from SotW on the Jewish diaspora – but i don’t really think she listens when she crafts, as she has a ferocious concentration face!
BB has done a bit of her before the code, read with me a level one oxford reading tree – she read mum and dad, and i did the rest, we looked at the piccies and letters etc. SHe has also painted, sang songs, played with her paper castle, and periodically screeched!!
ho hum
Hugs Helen. I think the treatment was what killed my Nan. I think she would have had longer and what she had would have been spent more enjoyably had she not gone down the chemo route. You can’t turn back time or change things though and I so wish she was still here. And I’m mad at myself for her passing being so awful. It doesn’t neeed to be that way. I wish I’d accepted the likelihood of her death and researched options rather than being in denial almost right to the end.
That wasn’t uplifting or cheerful but not sure that it would be appropriate to try.
You do do loads. I never quite see how you could fit more in. We do need to get those monthly walks dates sorted as that’s when things slip for me, when I don’t have the dates in long in advance – your weekends being usually busy too compounds the problem.
thanks Michelle. i was thinking a bit of local radiotherapy. it has hardly broken the skin, and may just stop a huge ulcer – which would be quite crap. not intending any life prolonging therapy. but sorry about your nan and the chemo. not uplifting, but don’t think that uplift is much of an option.
Thinking of you. xxx
Hugs.
How awful, Helen.
FWIW I am always impressed by the loving and considered way you write about your kids and I think that’s worth more than a fist full of workbooks or a packed calendar of trips. x
Hugs from me to you Helen.
I think your HEing is fantastic. We’ve been doing Minimus since September and still on chapter 2!
You have two really happy kiddies.
thanks all. i guess i have ‘leaky’ blueness – ie it is colouring all sorts of other things at the mo, and yes, i am happy that sb in a much happier place – which has been a thrust of ours!
Oh Helen *hugs*. Watching your dear nanny’s slow decline must be so horrible – not surprising it colours everything else. You’ve got enough other stuff to be worrying about too
Thought SB was on fine form last week though – whatever you’ve been doing with her to bolster her up again has definitely worked
Thanks Alison. we have def been working on confidence and communication! I was really pleased that she seemed to be more perky. I am determined to stay cheerful at home – though coming back from work sobbing on sat not so helpful!