Actually I think my real mothers day present was just as we came away to Melrose, and SB bought me some flowers. i brought them to Melrose and popped them on the mantelpiece -they are prob still there as our leaving was a tad disorganised. But they were spontaeous because she thought I would like the wrapping. That really is a mothers day gift.
i knew I would get a card, because on the way home I bought a card for my mum and little nanny, so SB came with me and chose one for me to buy [rofl!]. She chose a beautiful card that really suited her – a fairy one sprinkling glitter. i would have been just as happy with a home made one – in fact i suggested a thurs card craft to some dads at melrose, but they looked horrified/sheepish/you must be joking at me!!
Antway so i came downstairs and was told i was about to have breakfast in bed. oK, i hopped under the duvet on the sofa. what would i like? hmm, onions, sweetcorn and mushrooms on toast, no? err, scrambled eggs? no? oh, something SB can make – weetabix! So she balanced that, a cup of tea and a jamjar decorated with fimo and a dafodil in it. those that read twitter will know that she tipped it all off as she reached me. never mind i said, lets mop it up and try again, so she did!!
What mothers day has mostly said to me though, is that I am not particularly shining example of motherhood. i used to be pretty good at the patience and joining in, but I had teeth in gritted mode so often today that i am suprised i can open my mouth. yes, BB is very challenging, but i think that a lot of it might be that i am just to crap to give her the attention she needs and sort out the right strategies. her and SB are screeching within 3 seconds of being left alone – and it isn’t all BB, but a majority. I can here my gritted teeth voice in SB too, which is awful. She just doesn’t care about anyones pov, whether she has hurt them, but wants what she wants when and how she wants it, instantly, always.
oops, this isn’t finished. i pressed wrong button, and will return!
SO, that has been quite stressful. for example, i bought a tiny mini violin magnet for SB to say i was proud of her for being part of the orchestra. bb whips it and says it is hers – actually before i have given it. sb looks dejected. so i do the oh no it isn’t routine. sb says its all right, bb cn have it if she wants. do you want it sb, shrug, sb do you want it. give it to who you want to mum. i gave it to you [counterpoint bb screaming its hers in background] i would like you to have it because i am proud of you giving the harder part a go and enjoying playing and getting your friends interested. well, i would like it. i take from bb – cue foaming at mouth screaming wailing and kicking. sb clenches it tightly, clear she wants it. i hug her and give her a kiss and repeat why its hers. bb in a total frenzy. oK, i should have had something for bb. but sb has a resigned and doleful air about surrendering everything to bb. should she be more encouraged to be assertive? surely if i was a good mum she would tell me what she wants? and does she side with bb to get her out of trouble because we overreact to bb??? aarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
hmm, ok, so what have we done today? well, bb and i did some of her before the code letter f stuff [at her request!] and she was adorable. SB was doing education city science at the time. BB did some starfall and SB did some playing with webkinz. SB did some singapore maths and we did a rather excellent violin practice together. we had a stressful time getting her dance mat that hooks to the tv to work again [well, it was last used 3 years ago, when deemed too difficult] but i managed it. and i managed to get the melrose game on 2 different computers so that both could play it – well bb couldn’t so i did that for her at her insistence whilst she frothed and foamed and jumped on me until i stalked off. and sb please to see ‘her’ level. at tea, sb said she was bored and today was boring. i guess it was. but we have loads of stuff she could have done. humm. glumness alround.
